Vlog: What a day in Peru!

All Jesus wants is to love me, So, what now?

This one is long so bear with me!

I was talking to my awesome missionary sister Faith, and she said the awesome-est piece of truth, “All Jesus wants to do is love you”. And it clicked. I had come all the way to the jungles of Peru so that I could FINALLY realize that all Jesus wants to do is hold me and love me. Really?!! Of course, yes, He has given me a missionary heart that has brought me all the way here with His help. He has called me by name to the jungles of Peru to a small Pueblo called Picota to love, love, and love and pour out my heart for His people by bringing them the Gospel, but He has brought me here to love me too.

So I began to open up my heart a couple weeks back.  And He worked quick! He has reached a part that I didn’t even know was broken. So, I want to talk about Doña Melba.

Doña Melba was my nanny when our family lived in Nicaragua. Pretty much she came into my life ever since I was born. I grew up with her by my side and since my parents worked, she took care of us all day, everyday. I remember thinking she was my second mom. She was so gentle and loving. 

One day, I cut myself accidentally, it was the first time I tried to cut lemons by myself. I was stubborn and wanted to do it myself, and as I started to cut, the knife slid against the lemon peel, I’m guessing, not being very sharp (but sharp enough to cut me. Of course!) And it went right into my index finger. The cut wasn’t big, but I saw blood and that was all it took. I cried as if I had chopped my finger off and she came quickly to my aid and I felt a sense of relief and security letting me know I was going to be ok! Moms can do that, right?

Another time I got grounded, because I did something “horrific” to my brother probably. I wasn’t allowed to play with my toys. I mean, if you want to break a kids hopes and dreams of a happy childhood tell them they can’t play with their toys. Anyway, as you can imagine, my heart was broken, really! I felt like it was. I was moping around and Doña Melba said with a smile, “It’s ok, you can play with your toys, but don’t tell your dad!” I gave her the biggest smile I could possibly make and ran to our toy room, she was a hero to me that day.

Doña Melba would always feed me tomatoes and avocados with salt, until I was full up to my ears! She would sit with me patiently and talk to me about everything and anything! She would let me wear my “soft socks” in secret, so I didn’t have to wear the “regular hard socks” that felt weird against my feet.

We moved to Mexico when I was eight and would later move to Florida. I remember the day we said goodbye to her. I thought, “Why doesn’t she just come with us?” but she was older and had health problems, she couldn’t just leave her family and home. I said my goodbye and gave her a big hug as she stood resting on the doorway of her house.  When we drove off, I looked back with tears rolling down my face. I don’t really remember much after that, except that I cried everyday praying I could see her, hug her, and be with her again. I would think of ways to send her money or things she needed. One day, I walked into my parent’s room to tell them how I felt and they told me she had passed away. I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep. I think what hurt the most was that no one was there for me, like she would have been. I had lost my second mom.

I became angrier at God for not only taking her away from me the first time, but a second time. I didn’t know how to grieve and I didn’t. I just kept thinking of her less and less as time went by, but still just as angry. It was in a high school retreat with a local youth group that I decided to let her go, for good. One of the activities was to have alone time with God. I didn’t know what to do so I sat on the dock looking out into the lake at sunset, (dramatic I know, but it happened!) and I said to myself, "I think its time to move on, I need to let you rest."  I just pushed my feelings aside and didn’t think about her from then on.

Now, here is where the story gets interesting, about 6 years after that, I sit here writing this blog. Why? Well, Jesus has opened up this part of my heart and is loving me through it. He understands that I lost my mom the day I left Nicaragua and the day she passed away. I always carry a picture of her with me. Some days it’s hard to look at and some days it’s easier, but I am finally facing the fact that she passed and I didn’t really get to say, “Goodbye, I love you with all of my heart and soul, see you in heaven Doña Melba.” I have talked about it with my mission partners, Andrea and Dulce whom have helped me immensely, I have prayed about it, written poems and letters and will made her a super cool frame with sunflowers to put her picture in. I am finally allowing myself to grieve and talk about it more and more.

Missions has been one of the best and hardest times of my life, because I am faced with the reality of many people around me that have lost loved ones and that are all trying to heal and survive as I am. I know in my heart that Jesus has called me here to tell them, “All Jesus wants to do is love you”. And I know it’s true, because he has shown his faithfulness, loving and tender support as I begin to look back and remember not with sadness, but hope that I will see Doña Melba one day. Grieving her is not about forgetting her as I once thought, it’s about finally realizing, someone you love and care about so much is gone, but  that one day you will be with them for eternity!

As I talk about her more and more, it gets easier and easier and I know she is looking down at me with her big brown eyes, her big heart and beautiful smile, with a proud look on her face. 

10 New and Fun Experiences in Peru!

   

1. We live in an abandoned bakery.

It is a very interesting set up. We have one big room where we all sleep which was used to store bread. It’s awesome, we live in a room that is made to be fresh and cool!! The sinks in the bathrooms opened with your foot so you would not contaminate anything, which we had to fix before moving in. Right next to our room is a big open space which holds an industrial size oven!

2. I hitched a ride on the side of the street.

The driver ended up being the judge of Picota, his name is Yuri. He is from Lima and had been here about two years. He had air conditioning in his truck, PRAISE JESUS! It was the first cool air I had felt in a week when I first got here. And above all if was a free ride! Usually people charge about 4 soles per person, but he gave us the ride for free!

3. I ride motokars everywhere.

A motokar is a hybrid of a motorcycle and a wagon? It has space for three people in the back and a small trunk to place your things. Which has come in handy for all the traveling back and forth with fans, shelves, and I even saw people back there!

4. I eat mini coconuts.

Or at least that’s what I think they are! They taste just like coconuts and you have to smash them with a rock to get to the inside. They are so cute and yummy!

5. I climbed up a waterfall.

We were in Sauce, a city that revolves around a lake about an hour away from Picota, and we went on a hike. Now, if you know me I don’t hike. That’s it. Anyway, it was a pretty big deal. We went up and down and around until we got to this tinny waterfall and were all like “that’s it?” and the guide goes, “no the water fall is over this waterfall. Well, it didn’t seem tiny to me anymore. Cause now I had to climb it! Well it went, half me holding on to a rope, half being pushed up and pulled up. It was not graceful at all whatsoever, but I made it through!  

6. I ride in the back of trucks, very fast trucks at that. 

When we head to Tarapoto to get some groceries and don’t want to spend too much on a taxi, the cheaper option is riding in the back of a truck.  As they go by, we signal them to pull over, get inside and headed out. The ride is BEAUTIFUL! There were mountains everywhere and a huge river that runs for miles beside us. We always have to hang on for dear life because they go fast. The fun part is always the speed bumps!

7. I rode next to 2 chickens my first time riding a truck.

It was scary people! The chickens were hanging from their feet and were super close to me. We made a sudden movement and they started freaking out and flapping their wings, so I started freaking out too. Here’s the picture to prove it. 

8. I experienced a city power outage at night.

This one may not be as cool but, it has quite a story. Andrea and I had traveled to Picota when we were living in Buenos Aires, to the Priests house to get internet, take showers, and buy some fans for our rooms. Once we got to Picota, we bought our fans and headed to the priest’s house were we just relaxed the rest of the day. Well around 8 pm, when I was in the shower the power went out. The power didn’t come back for a while so we headed home, and the city has no emergency lights. It was pitch black! Thank God for cellphone flashlights, because we walked and walked in the dark to look for a taxi. Just imagine two girls carrying heavy fans, a towel on their heads, and no light anywhere. God sent an angel and a taxi stopped for us as we were walking around. I mean what an adventure! We got home and 10 minutes later the light came back on.

9. I HAD PARASITES.  

This one is not as fun…actually it wasn’t fun AT ALL! But, I can say that I had them. I got tested, and you can probably imagine how that goes, so I’ll save those details for obvious reasons. I had to wait an hour for the results and when I did I found out I had THREE! So I began to take the pills, which were for seven days and it was baaaad… so bad that I could barely eat for a whole week.  Now I’m fine, but I’ll always think twice about not washing my vegetables again!

10. I ate a worm! Actually, two.

This one is the coolest one I think, because it’s what you expect to do when you head to missions in the jungle right? I was walking toward a store to get a snack and I saw a worm in a tree. It looked super yummy considering I hadn’t had breakfast or lunch. I looked around and really, no one was looking, so I grabbed it and ate it just so I could write about it now. JUST KIDDING! The one that I ate was cooked, and not wiggling around! I was walking to a store and the lady that owns it was sitting outside with her mom. They were snacking on chips and something else I couldn’t make out. I asked what it was and she grabbed one and said it’s a “gusano.” She put it towards me to scare me and I’m pretty sure I made a face of shock and disgust. They both laughed and for some reason I said, “Can I try one?” which really, I didn’t mean, but she offered it to me so…. I ate it and it was super weird, but not as bad as you think! Later, Andrea and Dulce joined me and I had another one with Andrea. That I did, just so I could say I ate two. 

The adventures Jesus takes you on, right?

Missionary Training and the Land of Llamas!

The 3 months of formation passed by in a flash, some days it seemed like a never ending forever and some it seemed like we had been training for a week! And well now, I am at my mission post! (Apparently the three months passed way too fast because I never seemed to have time to blog, opps…)

The mystery won’t continue any longer, I am in PERU! Praise Jesus! He has called me to love PERU this year. I live in a small pueblo called Buenos Aires about an hour and a half from Tarapoto which is about an hour plane ride from Lima. (No llamas in this area of Peru, it was a sad day when I found out too). 

We arrived last week and have been working on settling in which has been an adventure. We have a small and beautiful house with four rooms, a living room, a kitchen and an outside bathroom. I’ve been praying to Mary and St. Francis to please protect me from the bugs and small animals at night as I adventure my way to the bathroom. We have found a roach, a huge moth, and a billion crickets so far. PRAY FOR ME!! 

Our house!

I have also been working to make my room homey and a space where I can relax after a long day. Andrea my mission partner/sister from another Mister* helped paint my room a really nice sky blue.  I have been putting up pictures and different things around my room to make it feel like home. It’s super scary at night, but I was able to sleep real well so Mary has Got my back! Cause I haven’t had to get up to go to the bathroom too often!

So far it has been a beautiful and nice time in Buenos Aires, which, fun fact: the town was called something not-so-nice in Quechua before and a priest that was ministering here some years back changed the name  after his home city in Argentina, Buenos Aires. When I had gotten the letter contained the place I was going to be assigned to, I was very confused and thought they had made a mistake because it said Buenos Aires, Peru. But lo and behold here I am! I have been met with smiling faces and welcoming people. Jesus has placed in my heart peace and a surety that he is with me, and that he takes care of me. And will continue too! Here I am Peru, get ready!!

Jesus*